Salt Water in My Eyes

Enjoying my time at the beach. Happy I came. On a side note, salt water burns if it gets into your eyes.....bad. Pictures. Pictures!

"Beach Blanket Bingo"

Slightly happy today. Have plans to go to the beach. Even have a far-fecthed plan to sleep on the beach. Hoping that everything goes slighty like I want. Trying to shake the cloud that has settled above me.

"It's A Small World, After All...."

So today at work, I work in a photo lab, I was asked to do a passport picture so I took the customary three shots, and merrily skipped my way to the machine to print them out. As I editing them within passport guidelines, I asked, as I do with eveyone, where she was headed. Her reply was...."Korea." Could have knocked me down with a feather. So I then asked her what part she said "Yeongju." I was almost jumping up and down for, "Yeongju, with a Y?" She looked at me a little strangely at this point and said, "No, with a W."
Is it not amazing that the first passport picture I take after I received my VISA number is of another person who is heading to a consulate to get a visa? Wow. So we preceded to chat for a few minutes and she told me about some real cool phrase books she and her husband liked. You can guess what I did immediately after leaving work......bookstore bound. I went and bout them and even picked up a couple more I thought were interesting looking.
It really is a small world. Or should I say a small town near an Army base?

"Leavin' On A Jet Plane...."

So now that I have my VISA, number I have began to look for plane tickets. Ugh, an arduous process, if there ever was one. I have been to every major airlines website and signed up for many a sky miles program. I want a flight without to many stops.....Delta is looking better and better.

AlphaNumeric

So I got my VISA number last night. Quick, Quick! It may be most important alpha-numeric number I have ever received. So. Yippee!! My recruiter received my mail on Friday and my number to me Monday morning. Quick! Quick!! I say. So I guess I am Korea bound.
On a side note, I am slightly depressed, it is just a sad state of affairs to realize that someone you care about, doesn't care a half-millisecond about you like you do for them. And you only matter to friends for as much fun as you can provide.

Everything. Even the Kitchen Sink.

So I have started to make lists, yes lists, of all the things I find absolutely necessary to take to Korea with me, and I am flummoxed. Shocked. Mortified. I did not realize that it takes this much stuff for me to be me. So, I think I need to begin checking the airline regulations. Yea, I know there are some things that I can get when I get there, but.......I am pretty set in my ways and want to take what I am used too. So happy packing to me!

Save The Trees! Get Steeled!

So I have decided to veer back to the original reason for blogging. Korea. So today I went in search of......drum roll please! Chopsticks! Even though I hoping for some made of something other than wood, I didn't hav that kinda luck on my side.......so I got few of those, and since I bought so many they threw in a really nice pair. Still of made of wood though.....
Yea, I finally faced the fact that I need lots of practice. More often often than not the food winds up staying on the plate or falling back on the plate.

Wish me luck!

In My Veins

I just want to say as the time gets closer, I am super excited to go to Korea! Adventure Awaits!

The Ghost of Everything Past

"I like the dreams of the future better than the histroy of the past."
-Thomas Jefferson

The Past? Sometimes so hard to live through, and so hard to forget. If the past was good, live it up and never forget, but the memories we tend too never forget are the ones that are painful, the ones that hurt so bad that it was hard to see through to the other side, the ones that made you cry until you were hourse. Why? Why would a body who has claimed to move on and to have grown keep visiting events that take you right back to the person you were then? Is it because if you analyze EVERY minisule detail you will suddenly find something, anything that you could have done differently to keep the events from leading and ending in such a bad manner? Foresight? Even if you could back and change it, would you? This event and all the other events in your life MADE you who YOU are. Yea, even the bad ones. Everyons should have relationship end badly, just so when they enter a really grreat one they will know it. Everyone should have a relationship that ends on great terms so that they will know how to be friends with someone they were once very close to.
Although, you should never forget the past, you should never live in it.

The Art of Silence

I haven't mentioned it before because I have learned the hard way if you want something with all your heart you shouldn't mention it 'cause just as bad as you want it there is someone out there who doesn't want you to have it. I have plans to go to Korea and teach English as a Second Language (ESL). I feel as though this is a once in lifetime opportunity and I am lucky to have the chance to even be considered to do it. I have known for a long time that something was missing from me as a person, I have never been quite happy. I truly believe this because I know there is more to life and I feel like I should be experiencing it. So here I am about to traipse off to another country, continent, time zone.
Which leads me to my point, I haven't told anyone. Just my mom and one closet of the close friends. Why? I claim to be able to make my own decisions and to live my life as I so choose, so why can't I bring myself to tell the rest of my family and friends before I hop the plane? Is because verbalizing it more than a few, will bring it one step closer and everything I have known for my whole life one step further away? is it because of my belief that anything you really want you contain inside, until it has arrived and almost passed me by? Is it because I have not completely made up my mind to go and don't want to face anyone if I change my mind? Is it because I wouldn't be able to stand of the scrutiny and possible censorship if I declared my unconventional decision from the rooftops?
Is because I justcan't face the fact that I will be moving away from the support system I have known my entire life?
So what I am going to do? Am I just going to hop a plane and be gone without a word to the wise or wave to bewildered? Maybe, I am just not a strong enough person in general......? Am I taking the Art of Silence too far? Am I not believing in believing enough?

Bringing Ants to the Picnic

Although, I made a vow to post something everyday, I fear I have I fallen behind. So 5 days later here I am again. On Saturday, my mom decided to have me slight going away party/BBQ. This had been in the works for about three months, so it a really great build-up. It hasn't rained here in over a month, but you wouldn't believe it, it rained Saturday, but it was 81 degrees on Sunday. Talk about raining on a parade.
Although, it rained us out and we almost 3 hours late starting, we all good time and all the friends except two drove the mileage. So, I was almost happy. Adding to my happiness, is the fact that I finished my first semester as a graduate student, although I know, I didn't do as well as I could have, I am just proud that I can say, to have the opportunity to be a graduate student. I am the first person in my family, both sides, to graduate from college. So I am pretty proud of myself, but I think it it i time for a break. I am almost at a breaking point that I may not be able to return from. Although, I have this unreasonable fear of not being smart enough and being a failure, I have always seen education as way out, I am smart enough to realize that everything is not for me, and this breaks my heart so so so much.

Competion Amongst Friends and The Severing of Strings.

So I'm sitting here once again, thinking that I don't have time to blog.......and some questons came to the forefront of my mind. Can two friends really compete and truly remain friends? I would say yes, but mostly no. This is why. Someone will get hurt. Maybe, not intentionally, but it will happen, because someone has to be the winner and someone has to be the loser. Even "freindly" competion is not so friendly. Someone, will make it more than it needs to be.......
Yes, yes I know there are such things as good sports, but how many people truly deep down inside, will take kindly to a friend getting, beating them at something that they truly want?

Second question: When it time time to truly cut the apron strings? This question stems form the fact that I am thinkng of packing up and leaving behind everything that I have ever known. It is considered Taboo for a person past the age of 18 to still live at home, I have left and come back many a times, why is this? I have been told my whole life, "You can always come home." So why is that when I do, I have been looked down upon by people who "grown up?" Just because you moved out, and I haven't does not make you anymore of a grown-up than me. You think that because I live at home with mommy I don't have bills or responsibility, and you would be WRONG. Yea, I coud move out and go pay somebody else rent, but why would I do that when I can live here and help her PAY for this, ensuring that I, my bother, and our chidren can always have a home to come too. Proofreading this, and it appears that I am angry bitter shrew. I am far from that. I just feel that responsible adults who still reside in theirsn.
parents abode, are looked down upon as though we don't want strike out on our own.

This brings me to another point; wow for someone who could be doing anything else, this is turning into a looooonnng post; I think I shall end my rant for today and go look up Korea facts....